If it smells like poop in here, it ain't me, babe.

My 20 year old daughter just walked in the front door and said, "It smells like poop in here."

Her sister piped up, "I just farted. Sorry."

I knew it couldn't be me, even though I've been farting every few minutes and pooping constantly... because all of my gas and excrement empty into a plastic bag that's glued onto my gut... and it's sealed, doesn't leak, and doesn't smell.

I'm getting really sick of emptying and cleaning the bag. I've have very prolific intestines today. ANd right now, about ten minutes after the last time I emptied and cleaned it, it's filling up with gas again. I guess I'll go see what else is in it, and empty it again.

I'll do that, and then I'll take out my contacts and go to bed.

So there you go, Donny. I blogged. I might do it again soon. I will. I will do it soon, again.