So the supplies came today. Just in the nick of time. I have horrible diarrhea. It's bloody, and it smells strangely sweet, not at all "poopy"... maybe because everything is moving through so fast that it cannot ferment... although there's lots of gas. Why am I writing this "too much information" in my blog? Because nobody reads it. I'm the only one reading my blog.
I did sign up for Relay for Life today, and I listed my blog on my profile. So there's a chance someone on the Relay for Life website might see it and start reading my blog. If you are such a person, please forgive the absence of personal boundaries. I am likely to share almost anything.
I received a card in the mail from Relay for Life, inviting me to have breakfast this Sunday, June 4th, at Dillon's Irish Pub, in my neighborhood. It said I should RSVP by either calling or emailing one of two people or at the website relayforlife.org/hollywoodca. I went to the website but didn't see any information about the breakfast. I guess I'll have to email or call someone.
It felt a little strange... the card says they want to celebrate cancer survivors as inspirational heroes. I don't feel like an inspirational hero.
I wonder how I can make my cancer stories inspiring.
Look, if you have anal cancer, I'm not here to inspire you with heartwarming stories. I will tell you that if your doctor says you need a colostomy, you should get one. Get the cancer cut out of your body. Stop eating junk and stay away from smokers, and if you smoke, quit.
Chemo, radiation, and surgery all are horrific, in different ways. Living with an ostomy isn't fun.
Tomorrow is my birthday. Maybe that's why I'm invited to breakfast. The back of the card says "American Cancer Society -- The Official Sponsor of Birthdays. We save lives and create more birthdays by helping you stay well, helping you get well, by finding cures, and by fighting back."
My friend Donnie is over. He argued with me a bit about allopathic medicine. He doesn't believe in it. So I had the big spiel about how I used to spurn doctors and health insurance in favor of a mostly raw, vegan diet, lots of fresh carrot juice, and supplements as a cure for cancer, and how, before that, I was a "word of faith" Christian, believing that God would heal everyone who asks, if they have enough faith. But now, having been told I had cancer, and having had discussions with the doctors about how my death would have occurred, if I didn't submit to the surgery... I opted to have the doctors work their "magic" and let God choose to do a miracle if He wants to, but not to leave anything undone that might bring about my survival...
I realize I'm going to die someday, of something, as will everyone else on this planet. But for now, I'm doing everything I can do to postpone the inevitable and to live without the horrible pain and discomfort that plagued me while the cancer was still in my body.
Now... if I can just figure out how to stop the cycle of constipation, diarrhea, constipation, diarrhea...
